Naked Munros
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Mayar

(Written by Stuart)

The going was pretty easy the ground was dry and the path was wide. The path continued up Mayar's western slopes at a gentle incline, the route littered with fence posts and something large enough it looked like a bus stop. It continued in short, steeper sections, punctuated by long, flat slopes before a brief, steeper pull up the the summit.

It was an easy walk, and these mountains would be great for the start of the season to get back into shape, and I was glad we had chosen them, as we were still out of condition after the long winter.

But it was cold up there. There's always an element of shrinkage in conditions like this, but today it was getting ridiculous. The air was cold, the wind was high and a certain part of my anatomy refused to come out and play. Shrinkage? Retraction more like. At one point I needed the toilet, but after wading through inches of rolled up skin, I gave up looking and had to just hold it for a while. It was a couple of hours before I could actually go!

But horrifying emasculation aside, it was a lovely spot at a lovely time. The sun was low through the clouds and it created a beautifully subdued and gentle golden glow across the hillsides. It was a delight to photograph Karla in these conditions, it was unchallenging but rewarding, and we took some pictures on that summit that were nicely different to a lot of our other work.

When my turn came, the cold was biting me. The wind pierced my burning hot skin like a thousand tiny needles, and even the ground felt like ice. But it was a beautiful environment and it was a pleasure to be naked up there. With views across to the snow capped Cairngorms and the mountains of Glen Shee, it felt less like a harsh mountain environment and more like a sub-Arctic wilderness in summer, a little piece of desolate paradise just a few short hours away from my warm home.

But eventually my fear of hypothermia and genital frostbite overrode my naturist urgings, and the clothes went back on and the descent began.


Photographic details