The Impact of Coming out on Your Job & Family

[jbeegoode]

Recently, I had a request to delete some pics of a friend on my website. The ones with recognizable face. One of her customers/clients had seen it and although he thought it awesome, he assumed that she didn't know about it and suggested deleting it. What does she have to fear in actuality? Here is a good article. What do you all think and do about coming out as a nudist/naturist? Work, family what are the consequences really? If something that was so taboo and illegal as homosexual lives and activities are accepted and protected as they now are, then something harmless as a naked body, casual nudity, typically natural acts of humanity are still taboo?!? Have times changed? Is it a time to stand up and call them all silly and declare, "My business."

The Impact of Coming out on Your Job & Family

I think most nudists are afraid to chance coming out to family, friends and co-workers for fear of losing their jobs, family issues, etc. And even though they are family, or close friends, co-workers, etc, we can't ever know what their reaction will be until we make that decision to be open about it. I'm self employed in construction with my own small drywall and painting business and I figured if others found out about my nudist life it could hurt business. But, I slowed chanced mentioning it to more and more of them, and found, that hasn't been the case at all. In fact, it’s been mostly very positive.

With customers, I approach the subject with casual confidence and am not overbearing. I'll just casually mention it somehow such as mentioning how good it feels to be able to finally get out and get some sun without tan lines and then I get a feel for their reaction. Or I’ll get to talking about liking privacy and mention that we like to sun without swimsuits so privacy is a must for us. Numerous customers have actually allowed me to work naked on their jobs because of this, while the rest thought it was cool or they just ignored it. But it never seemed to hurt my chances of getting the job once, and I probably find a way to hint at it with about 70% of my customers. So the fear was mostly in my mind.

One year my wife worked for a large corporation and we hosted World Naked Gardening Day at our house. The media found out so we let them all know and were on TV 4 times and on the front page of the local paper. NOTHING happened at work besides a few innocent jokes. Several thought it was really cool. And even though we were all over the news for it, we had no major issues with the general public, although our HOA did have a long discussion with us, which resulted in them realizing we weren’t out to flash their kids or anything, so it blew over just fine.

I also started wearing kilts and going out in public with my toes painted years ago. I thought these too would cause my issues. Neither hurt me at all, so most fears are indeed in our mind, we just have to be willing to confront them, which I know not all are. And I think that's sad, and is one reason we have such a hard time gaining the understanding of society, and our legal rights to have places to go nude besides our house or resorts, for those of us inland.

Until we realize that coming out is usually not nearly as traumatic as we think it will be, our whole dream of being accepted by the public may never happen. Those of us who dream of gaining rights to exercise our lifestyle choice in portions of parks, our front yard, etc may never see that happen if more of us don’t stand up for our beliefs and come out to everyone. I know many of you will post reasons you can’t, but I believe that only about 10-20% of you who think that, would actually have any problems. But the choice is of course yours.

And like a friend of mine, Maurice W. Smith said on Facebook - ” It is that simple, it really is. It's when you attempt keeping secrets instead of just being completely honest and open that people can use things against us. If you're open and honest then all people can do is try to use things against us but if we are open books then much of the power has been removed from those that are out to hurt us. No more fear.”

To learn more about the nudist lifestyle, visit http://www.wearlesslivemore.org
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http://ournudistlife.blogspot.com/?zx=7952751d881ae764
Jbee

[Greenbare Woods]

A lot of people know I'm nudist.  It has never been an issue.   My guess is that the public is generally tolerant of nudists "OVER THERE" as long as its "you do your own thing" and don't get in my face about it. 

[BlueTrain]

It can be very irritating when people want to tell you all the intimate details of their lives, which suggests you shouldn't do the same. It's a fine line. One probably should be doing things that, if known by others (or certain others), then you shouldn't be doing them. Tolerance is also a tricky thing. It also isn't the same as acceptance. It's "putting up with" something. Where I used to work, some people told you everything, others were very private about their, well, private lives. Of course, that was a workplace situation. One way of putting it would be the difference between being secret about something and being private about something.

[jbeegoode]

I just have an aversion to being labeled "the nudist" like that is my crowning distinction. Like, " Did you read the thing in the paper?" "It was, yea, you know Jbee, the nudist guy." Somewhere, it needs to be seen as not such a big deal. It isn't anything that should overshadow what else a person is, or define them. That is narrow minded.

In a workplace, It could be a hindrance to be referred to as "the nudist" instead of my performance, while I'm there stuck in clothing. So, one might need to be prepared to confront the novelty, the harassment, the ignorance in order to quell the reaction and lay it to rest. Such as, "Stop making such a big deal of it," "Why are you making such a big deal of it?" or "Grow up, its a body." Or, "if you would like to hear about it, I can educate you out of your silly ignorance."

On the other hand, I don't want to have to hide my preference and humanity and therefore support, or fear the social illness in this world.

Practicing naturism shouldn't ever need to be "an intimate detail" in anyone's life.
Jbee

[BlueTrain]

No, it shouldn't and I wasn't trying to say that it was. You are correct, though, about labels.

The problem with a label is that it is, like you say, narrow. Not necessarily narrow-minded but narrow in scope. But at the same time, a label can be perfectly accurate, even though you may not be aware of it. We may sometimes be given a label that we don't know about. I don't know if others might use more than one label to apply to us (not necessarily as nudist but just generally). Probably, and possibly even contradictory labels at that.

I think I've mentioned this before but I was once introduced as a "four-wheeler," because I had a 4x4. It was a perfectly accurate label or description and even the best one at the time. Yet I had never thought of myself like that. Maybe others know more about us than we think or are willing to admit, even if the accuracy isn't always a hundred percent.

The trick is to be open enough about your life, or lifestyle, if you have one (I'm not sure I do), so that nobody that knows you is ever surprised when they hear about anything, say, from the local busybodies. The desired reaction would be, "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me." Or, "Oh, I thought everybody knew that." Like I say, it's a fine line. In the meantime, you have to be a good neighbor. You can't be a bad neighbor and expect either a positive or neutral reaction to your lifestyle.

On the other hand, you might not interact with your neighbors that much to begin with. My father, who worked six days a week, hardly knew most of the neighbors, compared with how well I knew them. He knew lots of people in other places in connection with work a lot better than the people who lived on the same block. And some people don't even have close neighbors.

[jbeegoode]

Bluertain wrote, "Oh, I thought everybody knew that."

I like that line. It also protects. Everybody knows, everybody is okay with it, everybody doesn't really care. So why are you bothered by it? It turns the tables, and they have to ask themselves, how it is that they are the odd man out. They may have to question themselves about the issues and do they really exist about working with a nudist. It shouldn't affect a job.
Jbee

[Greenbare Woods]

The trick is to be open enough about your life, or lifestyle, if you have one (I'm not sure I do), so that nobody that knows you is ever surprised when they hear about anything, say, from the local busybodies. The desired reaction would be, "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me." Or, "Oh, I thought everybody knew that." Like I say, it's a fine line. In the meantime, you have to be a good neighbor. You can't be a bad neighbor and expect either a positive or neutral reaction to your lifestyle.

Since moving here more than 10 years ago now I've tried to get a neighborhood reputation as "that naked guy."   The only time anyone ever complained is when one guy's teen daughter saw me getting the mail naked.  Even then he said it was okay for me to be naked on my own property but I should be more careful if his daughter is out for a walk on the road.   Maybe the daughter learned to try being naked herself sometime. 

On the other hand, you might not interact with your neighbors that much to begin with. My father, who worked six days a week, hardly knew most of the neighbors, compared with how well I knew them. He knew lots of people in other places in connection with work a lot better than the people who lived on the same block. And some people don't even have close neighbors.

Actually I don't interact with my neighbors much at all.  They sometimes might see me when I'm near the road and they drive past.   Only two houses are close enough to see me naked on my land.  Even that isn't close enough to stop and chat while walking past.  Having a "naked guy" in the neighborhood gives everyone permission to go naked on their land too, and maybe some day some of them or their children will. 

Bob

[BlueTrain]

People's personalities differ, naturally, and some are far more social than others. Even siblings differ in that respect. I think it begins early, too. When you're going through school, there is a crowd that seems to be involved in several activities all at once, as an example. Although some groups can be a little cliquish, especially the social organizations, it shouldn't be implied that such people are that different. They're just more active and more involved in school activities. Everybody else would just as soon be somewhere else. Some groups of kids are probably barely aware of other groups at school.

I had friends at school but I was only involved in a single activity the whole time I was in school, the yearbook staff, and even then I left before the year was over (we had moved when I had one semester left). So I wasn't part of the in crowd, as they used to say. Yet at the one and only class reunion I attended, the 50th, I was surprised at how well remembered I was and by whom. So perhaps I was more social than I realized. I was even voted a senior superlative (which some schools do): quietest. How could you be voted as anything and not be well-known? As it happened, I did run into one person in college that I graduated with and visited with him and his wife, who was president of the senior class, and I had been in touch more recently with some of them. I even had breakfast with some when I visited my hometown last spring.

But nobody knew me that well. Even then I was doing outdoor nude activities, hiking mainly.

[nuduke]

That's my wife's objection to talking about being a naturist - that I would be labelled "The Village Nude Guy" and treated with derision.  I'm afraid that some people round here would do just that if they knew.  However it would not bother me these days.
John

[BlueTrain]

You have company. Many people do whatever they want with no thought of what other people think.