Author Topic: Being seen while getting mail.  (Read 4516 times)

nuduke

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Re: Being seen while getting mail.
« Reply #30 on: May 26, 2018, 09:12:14 PM »

When we got back from holiday the weather was great in the UK and the next day I had lots of naked time in the garden as whilst we were away the trees have sprung into leaf and our garden is now screened from the neighbours on one side and only a small area visible from the other side.  My wife was surprisingly tolerant - she was in the living room with a patio door onto the garden so she could see me going up and down mowing the lawn.  After I finished and went in for a drink she said "I saw you mowing the lawn naked".  "Great" I said.  "Thanks for not objecting - it was lovely to be naked outdoors for once." 
Was than an Incremental?  I hope so.
John

eyesup

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Re: Being seen while getting mail.
« Reply #31 on: May 27, 2018, 12:17:18 AM »
Hmmm!
It has the distinct tone and frequency of one, John! :D

Duane

ric

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Re: Being seen while getting mail.
« Reply #32 on: May 27, 2018, 11:03:14 AM »
weve got a quarter acre orchard with a gate onto the lane, laneside hedge is tall enough for walkers not to see over.   fine sunny day midweek i mowed the grass...  midmorning... neighbours were all either at school or work.   as were near the end of the lane theres little passing traffic, so i decided to mow naked, took about half an hour..... one passing fuel oil lorry and 2 other trucks came by .... all of them whilst i was in the vicinity of the gate... no crashes so i guess they wernt looking over the hedge. ;)

Bob Knows

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Re: Being seen while getting mail.
« Reply #33 on: May 27, 2018, 03:42:54 PM »
one passing fuel oil lorry and 2 other trucks came by .... all of them whilst i was in the vicinity of the gate... no crashes so i guess they wernt looking over the hedge. ;)

Or, likely one or two of the drivers saw you and didn't care.  Being seen naked gives the lorry drivers an opportunity to accept that naked is normal. 

Bob
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nuduke

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Re: Being seen while getting mail.
« Reply #34 on: May 31, 2018, 05:43:35 PM »

The following days from last described were pretty good too and I got some naked yoga, more gardening and some general hanging about in the garden sunshine to top up the VitD done.  When my wife comes out into the garden she always asks if I will cover up. On several occasions she has now said that as long as she is not there I can do what I like but to cover up the goolies when she is there.  This is definitely incremental as she now rather expects me to be naked in the sun or when she is away from the house (a fair expectation, I should say!).  This is definitely an increment as it accepts that my naturist state will pertain when she is not there.  That is to say she has become less frightened of my naturism per se.  It is tiring though, how she hangs on to the prurient pretence that the middle section of my body is somehow offending her and needs to be covered up.

John

jbeegoode

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Re: Being seen while getting mail.
« Reply #35 on: May 31, 2018, 11:12:49 PM »
Would it be different, if she saw Adonis?

Arrrgh, take 'er in de garden, says I. That'll show 'er what ye made fer and alla de appropriate places ye be.

My friend has an affection for things pirate. Her truck bears a bumper sticker, "What would Black Beard Do?"
That's Black Beard's advice...I suppose....

She just didn't come across as someone that would be offended by a midsection, when I met her. Could it be somehow more complex, or an attempt to control the situation, to bargain?
Jbee
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nuduke

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Re: Being seen while getting mail.
« Reply #36 on: June 05, 2018, 10:48:14 PM »

Quote
[font=]She just didn't come across as someone that would be offended by a midsection[/font]
She isn't, or wasn't, actually.  She isn't bothered about me being naked in the bedroom, around the house, say early in the day or in the evening.  However, over time and correlating with since I have been less inhibited myself, she has developed a pathological fear of someone coming round or passing the house and seeing me naked!  It's an irrational fear but very real to her.  When I am naked a bit too much for her she resorts to asking me skittishly to cover up.  At minimum, a wrap sarong does it even when I double it over so it's less than shorts length.  Although if I do that she makes a remark about building the pyramids or being in ancient Egypt due to the resemblance to Egyptian tomb paintings which I have to admit is very appropriate!  But this attire or underpants, is equally bad for surprising spontaneous visitors, but doesn't seem to bother her so much. This remarkably irrational and atrophied attitude has developed in recent years - she was never so censorious back in the day.  I think it's the consequences of cosy suburban and village life and her concern not to be seen as out of the ordinary or eccentric.  I don't care but she does.


What I am incrementalising on now is to try and retrench this fossilisation of attitude and gain her confidence that I remain a secret naturist and that she won't be embarrassed by my nudity in the presence of others.  So far this year it's been working a bit.


John

jbeegoode

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Re: Being seen while getting mail.
« Reply #37 on: June 06, 2018, 12:09:18 AM »
I wonder if the anxiety would change if it did actually happen sometime. She would be experiencing less than her perceived fears of consequences. Or would she exaggerate the situation as if her world had just caved in?

Jbee
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ric

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Re: Being seen while getting mail.
« Reply #38 on: June 06, 2018, 09:36:53 AM »
i get the same to a slightly lesser degree.... mrs is paranoid about someone coming round and catching either of us naked in the garden, even our family.  im far more laid back, no doubt due to the fact ive been a naturist far longer and have pushed the boundaries,   both on free range hikes and working in clients gardens.   
i reckon once youve had one encounter you cease to worry.  theres still the what if i meet a plonker... but that shouldnt apply in our own back  garden.
mrs is fine on spanish beaches... provided theres other naked bodies about... not quite so relaxed if were on  a beach with no evidence of anyone else using it unclothed.... " are we allowed?"
things are getting easier as time passes and confidence grows....  but i reckon id still get some ear ache if the full extent of my naked hiking, driving and working in clients gardens became known... i dont like non disclosure .... years ago it was best policy but now im letting the knowledge drip out in small increments.
a good example is mowing our orchard... its overlooked from the lane.... during the week day you can reckon on 2 or 3 vehicles an hour and maybe a dog walker once in a blue moon... ive now got "wearing" a tan through wrap accepted as normal.... next stage is acceptance that  away from the gate "wearing" is sitting on.

eyesup

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Re: Being seen while getting mail.
« Reply #39 on: June 06, 2018, 05:18:22 PM »
If she was once more relaxed yet now the opposite, you may be right that she is concerned that deviating from the norm will be a problem. You have to very confident in who and what you are in order to be different.

You are still relatively new to the community, yes? Maybe she just doesnít want to risk not being accepted. Maintaining old traditions isnít so much an agreement with them as it is simply easier than challenging them.

Jbee makes a good point. If it did happen that someone saw you and nothing happened, she might relax.

Duane

nuduke

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Re: Being seen while getting mail.
« Reply #40 on: June 10, 2018, 02:02:26 PM »

Well, I am much gratified to find that Ric, who is a much bolder and vastly more experienced naturist than I, experiences some of the same paranoia about being 'discovered by a stranger' from his wife as I do from my Mrs N.  It is also a new finding that your full exploits, as documented on these hallowed pages, has been the subject of partial "non disclosure'' (good way of putting it!) to your wife, Ric.  Obviously I have such unmentioned areas of my naturism and always feel a bit guilty about that.  It's always nice to know you're not the only one.  So thank you for that bit of disclosure, Ric, I feel better that I am somewhat less out on a limb for spousal disapproval than I thought.
 
As I have referred to several times in the past, my wife and I in younger years (mid 20s) had 2 or 3 naturist experiences on beaches at which time she appeared to be happy to be naked. But on occasions in recent years that these experiences have been recalled she claims not to have been happy about it.  By contrast Ric's wife does join in and is somewhat of a naturist today. But Mrs N did get naked and sunbathe on Greek and Moroccan beaches for hours at a time - was this an extreme manifestation of her parallel tendency to conform overriding her dislike of nudity? 


JBee, I would love your scenario to come to pass of being discovered by a caller to our house.  My wife's fears far outweigh the likely actual consequences of a naked encounter with a visitor.  I think that some of our friends (by no means all!!) would actually join in...or at least treat the event as unremarkable and be happy for me to stay nude.  A question arises as to what my reaction would be?  I am mature enough with my own command of naturism that I know I would not panic or grab my genitals and rush off bent double in embarrassment.  There would be no rushing off to hide.  However, would I stay naked - given that I am in my own home and therefore entirely within my rights to be dressed as I like?  My mind says that I would cover up.  To whoever might encounter me I would say "Do you want me to cover up a bit?" and if the response was in the affirmative I would saunter off and don a minimum of clothes e.g. a pair of shorts or a wrap. Maybe a T-shirt. I do this with my wife.  When she joins me and I have been naked I will throw something on in deference to her wishes which, regrettably, even though she has been more permissive lately, do seemingly run deep.


Whilst we are discussing people's reactions to one being naked, I was again saddened by my art class colleagues.  Someone asked me earlier this week how I was getting on in my life classes (next class in a couple of weeks!) and there ensued a short interchange of slightly giggling embarrassed humour.  The other guy in the class asked if I would like to be a life model for this class.  I somewhat chickened out and cheerily replied that I would be delighted to do that but it wouldn't be ideal because if I was modelling I'd miss the class myself!  Thank goodness there are some art students, i.e. my life class colleagues, who have a proper, mature attitude to the naked body.


Drawing the human form is one of the hardest things I have done for a very long time - getting your hand to reproduce what your eye sees and stopping the brain misinterpreting proportion and shape is phenomenally hard.  That's why I do it - it keeps the brain fresh.  I asked my wife if she would model for me.  She said yes.  She was settling down to watch a film in the living room so I suggested that she might model whilst she is watching the film.  "Oh no! She exclaimed.  "I'm sorry but I just couldn't sit and watch a film whilst naked - I just couldn't"  How irrational is that?  She then said "I don't mind coming up to your study and doing it but I just couldn't be naked in the living room in from to the telly."   So I have her agreement to model at least.  (She had also said she would on a previous occasion).  When she does, I will be clothed.  I think psychologically that would make her more comfortable.  I will give you the news if it happens!
John


John 


jbeegoode

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Re: Being seen while getting mail.
« Reply #41 on: June 11, 2018, 02:54:21 AM »
"Not in front of the telly," that is amusingly irrational. Well, the n modeling thing sounds to be something good for her. Maybe an increment. You might show her some personal appreciation without making her feel self consciousness. I suppose she takes a compliment, but she is agreeing in the context of art, I suppose.
Jbee
« Last Edit: June 11, 2018, 06:37:04 PM by jbeegoode »
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Bob Knows

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Re: Being seen while getting mail.
« Reply #42 on: June 11, 2018, 06:33:58 AM »
things are getting easier as time passes and confidence grows....  but i reckon id still get some ear ache if the full extent of my naked hiking, driving and working in clients gardens became known... i dont like non disclosure .... years ago it was best policy but now im letting the knowledge drip out in small increments.
a good example is mowing our orchard... its overlooked from the lane.... during the week day you can reckon on 2 or 3 vehicles an hour and maybe a dog walker once in a blue moon... ive now got "wearing" a tan through wrap accepted as normal.... next stage is acceptance that  away from the gate "wearing" is sitting on.

I agree with you.  I've been cultivating occasional being seen by neighbors as a way of getting a reputation as "that naked guy."  I mow my drain field area naked with a push mower.  Its probably 50 yards from the road and can be seen from the road.  Our daytime traffic is 3 or 4 cars per hour most days. 

Good for you gaining confidence.  Our childhood training of fear is difficult to overcome. 

Quote from: nuduke
As I have referred to several times in the past, my wife and I in younger years (mid 20s) had 2 or 3 naturist experiences on beaches at which time she appeared to be happy to be naked. But on occasions in recent years that these experiences have been recalled she claims not to have been happy about it.

My first "date" with my wife was a hike to a CO hot spring.  Twenty years ago she was happy being seen naked.  Perhaps because of vanity as she has gotten older she now refuses even to talk about getting naked.   She doesn't complain about me being naked though.  I get more of her passive resistance going barefoot to restaurants and stores.  She feels "embarrassed" being with me. 

Bob
« Last Edit: June 11, 2018, 06:39:42 AM by Bob Knows »
Human bodies are natural, comfortable, and green.
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JOhnGw

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Re: Being seen while getting mail.
« Reply #43 on: June 11, 2018, 09:58:52 AM »
one passing fuel oil lorry and 2 other trucks came by .... all of them whilst i was in the vicinity of the gate... no crashes so i guess they wernt looking over the hedge. ;)

Or, likely one or two of the drivers saw you and didn't care.  Being seen naked gives the lorry drivers an opportunity to accept that naked is normal. 

Bob
From observation of the many vehicles passing when I am naked and theoretically visible, drivers are concentrating on the road and will not see you unless you are very conspicuous.
JOhn

Do not do unto others as you would that they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same.
George Bernard Shaw, Maxims for Revolutionaries

ric

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Re: Being seen while getting mail.
« Reply #44 on: June 11, 2018, 10:06:18 AM »
my wife has been into alternative therapies for a long while , over the last 3 or 4 years shes learnt a lot more about the effects on the body of the variations in frequency and intensity of sunlight over the day, not to mention the vit d issues.   she now views outdoor nudity as a health issue that will enhance our well being in our dotage.   

still not relaxed about meeting family and friends whilst nude,  but a lot of that is down to years of perceived weight issues after having 3 kids, still prefers to wear something over the stomach whilst on the beach. no real issues about how i dress on the beach