Last month, our board meeting for the sweat was overrun by a group of belligerent “me too” zealots. They were trying to take over the board to make sure a new sweat would be “safe for women.” They were rudely snickering at male comments, and demanding that all males be voted off of the board because a male could just not understand women’s feelings, nor situation and that was the only way that the sweat would be effective. Women would set the rules and system of persecution of violators of such rules. Men could not be trusted to do so and would interfere, because they are so dominate minded and controlling.
The aggressive sexist ploy was insulting to my entire gender and especially to me personally. I don’t deserve this rant. The level of denigration expressed and discrimination was way above even the Deep South in the 50’s and 60’s. It was blatant, like a KKK. I got pissed. DF at one point put her arm in front of me to hold me back.
The igniting issue was that it was revealed that the owner/benefactor of the old sweat had been cozying up to many of the new attractive women, inviting them to his house next door and for some reason we never saw them again. We couldn’t find out to be sure why they didn’t come back. Many people come once or twice and then move on for various reasons. Finally, I personally saw him attempting to finagle two 20 year olds away from the guy that they had come with, to get them alone in his house and it became obvious to me. This was about a month before the place closed, and I knew at the new sweat, that this could not happen again. It was too late to confront the issue. It was over.
At the meeting there were allegations of “male privilege” sexually amuck, but no specifics during the last couple of weeks and denial of this, because it is “so hard for a woman to come forward.” There may have been five or six people in the 30 or 40 years that the sweat was there and that is hundreds of people. The dogma that applies to the outside world and workplace was being applied to a nude mostly liberal leftist group. Essentially a “hippie” sweat with those Woodstock, Rainbow People values. We had a written agreement, contract and expectation among members like most any nude resort community has. You get kicked out, probably permanently, if you F**k with the sisters. We all were to watch out for and stand up for each other.
All in all, the track record seems good compared to populations outside. It is a highly liberated group and liberal freedom minded and tolerant group. Women and men were together sweating in a sometimes tight little box, swimming and lounging, playing music, dancing, doing yogas, etc. nude for decades. They felt “safe.” They felt as amongst a family. Children were there, too.
Five or six guys were asked to leave and at least one woman, but who was keeping score? The reasons for that were not all sexual. Not a bad track record. Now, we are all accused of being complicit, the benefactors singular transgressions are blown into “dark underbelly” of “male privilege” and the sweat has been proclaimed to be for years unsafe. We don’t know exactly what people are accused of, let alone who, but three. Men are unfit to take part in the process of insuring what behavior is appropriate.
I didn’t feel safe in what I was seeing in a witch-hunt mentality. I realize that both men and women will make less than appropriate remarks on occasion, by bad judgement, or a slip. Comments, or eyes may be interpreted incorrectly. Grab ass, forceful touching, blatant voyeuristic staring, or sexual come-on’s are not what you do, but especially in a spiritual, worshiping gathering. Where would these zealots take their decisions over lording upon the sweat? What embarrassment, inquisition procedures, or threat of social castigation would they want to thrust upon the membership? The membership is generally anti-establishment, laisie faire, rebellious as any group that you would find. They don’t like imposition. They generally take responsibility for their behavior on their own.
So, the board is in disarray, things are healing, nothing is settled yet. A couple quit in disgust, or hard feelings.
So, with this as an example, there is a current climate of change. It is about time that most of it is happening in my opinion. On this online forum, the issue is nudity and body freedom. I’d like narrow the focus to the effects of this social change’s process as it may, or may not affect casual body freedom. Looking at the allegations all over the press, casual nudity, or lax dress, can be interpreted as sexual transgression. An open robe may be taken as a definitive expression of sexuality, domineering, not just a comfortable friendly attitude. This would in course lead to inhibition and fear, which is perfectly, aligned with the fundamentalist dogma and anti- body mores that permeate society and oppress naturism.
Are we in danger of being swept up and get oppressed as the byproduct of the fervor of this otherwise needed social change?
People will have sexual thoughts. Sexual action is different and affects others. There is a curiosity in social situations. In socially nude situations cards are on the table, mystique is not as great, the voyeur is diminished naturally. After I come out of a textile world, the affect wears off pretty quickly, and nudity around me becomes a norm, a matter of fact.
There is a social learning, based on perceptions of individual responses around us. With some people I’m more comfortable nude than others. Some I can hug nude, some I don’t hug at all, even clothed. We have a common sense at play. Do we really need rules imposed, or do we need guidelines and common sense, assertive expression of perceived transgressions or boundary issues by the individuals? Over the years at the sweat, women have made remarks, one came on to me. Women are often curious, probably as men. I don’t run scared and head to the Wednesday night men only sweat because I’m feeling unsafe. I either let it slide, or say something tactful, if the behavior may continue.
Jbee
