The Secret Naturist Handbook

[jbeegoode]

Well! This post, next excerpt, sure worked out well with our Trip Report about two of our infrequent urban excursions.

We'll be walking tonight. I wonder how it will end up.
Jbee

[jbeegoode]

Woodland: From the Secret Naturist Handbook section called "Habitat"

Few habitats are more enjoyable and suited for the secret naturist than woodland. Not only are you provided with protection from the elements but you also have the benefit of concealment from prying eyes. Woodland can be found throughout the British Isles and can very between the monoculture of commercial coniferous plantations to the smallest copse with only a few trees. All are suitable for secret naturist activities.

To make full use of areas of woodland in secret naturist outings, the secret naturist must take the time to study the area thoroughly during the planning stage. Foremost in your mind should be to understand the amount of activity that takes place, how many people go there, who they are and when they go there. This can be done by simple observation at various times of day and also by studying the tracks left by walkers. Look out for dog prints and small foot prints will indicate children. This will help you plan the best times for your outing.

Don't forget to find out if there is a gamekeeper who looks after the wood, as he is the likely person who will be sitting out in the wood at the same hours that the secret naturist will use. Watch out for snares and spent shotgun cartridges. Young and tame pheasants are a sure sign that the wood is managed for game.

Next in your task to understanding your patch of woodland is to map out all the trails that run throughout the wood. Not only where they actually run but also where they start and finish and what is beyond where the trail leaves the wood. You never know when you might have need of this knowledge. Next you need to look for potential hiding places and escape routes for use in emergencies and also for areas where people tend to congregate such as viewpoints and beside water. The litter which inevitably gathers at such locations will tell you a lot about the type of people who go there.

Woodland is also full of hidden hazards that could trip or even injury the unwary secret naturist and mixed woodland with plenty of low level growth can be a particularly problem. Keep a look out for and note the location of, patches of stinging nettle and bramble, fallen branches or trees, fences, ditches and so on.

When you have completed you preliminary work, have planned a secret naturist outing and are embarking on your secret naturist adventure, you still need to keep your wits about you at all times. The cover provided by woodland is both a blessing and a curse, for what provides cover to yourself can also hide people from your view and sudden encounters are a risk.

When you are walking through the wood naked, you should move quietly and with stealth, keeping noise to a minimum. This way you will keep the disturbance to wildlife to a minimum and you will also be able to detect the disturbance caused by others elsewhere in the woods. For example, the bark of a deer in the distance can be a good warning sign, particularly if you are downwind and the deer has not been startled by your presence.

One final point on the subject of woodland. If planning a secret naturist outing in an area of woodland which will take place during the night or even late in the evening, do bear in mind that under the forest canopy, darkness will fall earlier than the surrounding countryside. A good, reliable torch is always a good idea in these situations.

[jbeegoode]

Keeping wits about is such a primeval state of mind, a naked hunter. So many people clunk through, talking, making noise, boots kicking up tracks and making so much noise. Some places get more silent and some disturb the birds to flight or call to warnings when humans pass. Along these trails up above, is where the wildlife goes in caution. That's where to find deer, let the loud city folk scare the deer to me.
Jbee

[jbeegoode]

It gonna be 113F on Sunday. It is just way too hot, record breaking stuff that comes around every few years. I'm heading to the mountains to hone my glamping setup for the next two weeks. A retreat of sorts. I'll see what kind of food I actually need and how to simplify, simplify. My SUV is totally packed to the gills. There is just too much stuff.

I'll 4x4 out into it, not much chance of internet, but a couple of brief trips to town. If I find WiFi, I'll just publish a story and run. This was the end of the "habitat" section. When I get back, we begin the "Planning" section with about 20 topics.
Jbee

[jbeegoode]

Overview of the "PLANNING" section of The Secret Naturists Handbook.

The big secret that makes a good secret naturist, one who is never seen and who can walk naked just about anywhere, is their ability and plan a successful secret naturist outing. The ability to carefully and methodically plan can make the difference between a successful, highly enjoyable and memorable experience and one that ends in the worst possible disaster occurring and which might even put them off for good.
Planning should not be seen as a chore, rather it should be viewed as a challenge, one that is an integral part of the entire matter that is secret naturism. There can be a great deal of pleasure and satisfaction when an event occurs during a naked walk or whatever, that would have caused you a major problem had you not planned for such an eventuality. Simple things such as making sure your car keys were safe and secure or having fresh batteries in your torch for late evening excursions, can make a real difference to the success or failure of any outing.

[jbeegoode]

Part #1 of the Planning Section: Activity Planning: From The Secret Naturists Handbook

With the success of any secret naturist outing dependant on not being seen by other people, it might be useful to look at the activity patterns for the population generally. By activity patterns, I refer to the times of day when certain people are out and about. By having some understanding of when people tend to be around, this information can be used to plan your secret naturist outing.

Obviously, the following are generalisations and may not apply to all situation, locations and countries. The activity patterns for a small village will differ greatly from those of a large city. The information should be treated only as a guide and should encourage some thought on the matter. For convenience, the day has been split into 8 x 3 hours time periods.

Activity patterns will differ with the varying amount of daylight throughout the year, with the rise and fall in temperatures and is also variable with favourable or inclement weather conditions.

Midnight to 03.00

Ideal time for the secret naturist in most locations. Pubs and clubs generally closed or closing but watch for people returning home late. Few people likely to be in the countryside other than secret naturists, and the occasional naturalist or researcher. Road and pedestrian traffic usually light with reduced bus services. Some shift worked may start or finish at 02.00. Post office workers and bakers may start during this time. Near water, beware of all-night fishermen during the open season.
03.00 to 06.00

The first two hours of this period are good secret naturist times, with the last hour seeing the start of early commuters. Shift workers may start at 06.00 which is also a good time to be on location to head into the hills before others arrive, thus giving you seclusion at least on the outward part of the journey. Forestry workers may also be in woodland this early during the summer months when daylight permits. Again, near water, beware of all-night fishermen. Watch out for early morning joggers in parks.

06.00 to 09.00

Dog walkers can be seen from the early part of this period with road traffic increasing as commuters start to take to the roads. The latter hours are also particularly heavy with children going to school - a good enough reason to exercise caution! In the countryside, farmers will be out checking stock, especially during the lambing season and may have been out since before dawn. Delivery vehicles may be seen at some of the larger shops and stores with a high probability of them in shopping centres. Public parks can have pre-work joggers and runners.

09.00 to 12.00 Noon

The commuter period is generally over and school children are safely in school. Marked increase in delivery vehicles to smaller shops. Between 09.00 and 10.00 people tend to arrive at country locations for walks and lay-by's can be busy around noon with people stopping for lunch. Workmen, tradesmen and delivery drivers may also stop around 09.00 for breakfast. Urban locations are usually not suitable during these times.

12.00 Noon to 15.00

Activity is similar to the previous period with an increase in traffic and pedestrian activity during the lunch period. Again urban location usually unavailable. Look out for post lunch walkers and dog walkers.

15.00 to 18.00

This period starts to see returning primary school children with commuters making an appearance in the latter hours. Country locations can often be empty over the tea-time period between 5.00 and 6.00pm and therefore available for secret naturist use.

18.00 to 21.00

Typical dog-walking time with countryside areas and public parks busy until dusk and often afterwards as well by groups of youths and young people with nothing better to do. Country areas within walking distance of a town will have activity until after dusk. 21.00 if often a good time to head out when "normal" folk are heading for home.

21.00 to Midnight

Urban areas are still generally out-of-bounds until after 23.00 but country areas start to become available much earlier. Much activity around pubs and clubs, (note - golf clubs often have a bar as well). Most countryside locations will be quiet as dog walkers return home.

[jbeegoode]

1982, I remember being pinned down in an alley with a pal, dogs barking, no place to hide well. The bars let out at 1pm. Lots of people in that neighborhood, it became apparent, close down the bars on a Friday night. Then again, it doesn't take very many to disrupt an outing. My pal hasn't done such a thing before or since. It DID seem like a bad idea while being pinned there.
Jbee

[jbeegoode]

Best Times: From The Secret Naturist Handbook

With the ever growing popularity of the countryside for leisure activities, finding a suitable location for a spot of secret naturism can sometimes be rather difficult. When I first started heading into the countryside, more often than not, I would find people already at the locations I wanted to explore naked. However, it did not take long to realise that all locations have optimum times where nudity is possible.

Generally speaking, I've found that the majority of locations will be most suitable for nudity in the early mornings, the late evenings and throughout the night. Of course, some places are suitable during the day as well however the majority of locations will only permit nudity during the above times.

Planning your secret naturist outing to start in the early morning takes advantage of the fact that most people will still be tucked up in bed and you may find that even the most popular of locations are yours alone. You may also see more wildlife as well.

One thing to need to consider on early morning nude rambles or whatever, is the fact that only the outward part of the journey will be safe for nudity. You need to be aware that people may arrive while you are on location and may be encountered on the return part of your route. This is assuming you are following a circuitous route.

Late evenings also offer good opportunities for the secret naturist. As people return home for the night, many locations become deserted and available for secret nudity. In this case, however, you may encounter people on the outward part of the journey but will possibly find that the return part, if done after darkness falls, will have little risk of sudden encounters with Joe Public. For longer outings late evenings can also be extended into the night.

To find out the best times for any given locations simply requires good ground work. If you visit a potential location repeatedly at different times, you will soon determine when nudity is safe or otherwise. You may even be lucky and fine locations where secret naturism is possible at any time of day or night!

The majority of people stick to the more "normal" times of the day but there are, of course, other people who venture outdoors during the same times as secret naturists. For example, birders, fishermen, foresters, hunters, farmers and nature reserve wardens, so keep an eye out for them.

While it is possible to determine the "best times" for any given location, these times can vary, particularly during bank and public holidays when an increased number of people head for the countryside. I've found it best not to plan secret naturist outings during these times. Conversely, taking your own holidays when other people at not on holiday will give you the advantage when looking for places for secret naturism.

[jbeegoode]

Things have been so off because of the number of people seeking relief from lockdowns.

Sometimes I want solitude, or I'm in no mood for hassles, or excitement. Always, there have been no hassles, as people don't care. These considerations are about mood. We don't mind if somebody sees naked in a remote area, but we sometimes do mind a zillion other people on what we expect as a remote trail. In a couple of weeks, I'll publish the story of us bumping into like 35 people in an afternoon when we have no backup. It was interesting. We were surprised.

So, even with remote here and the new interpretations of law over there, how to get a nice peaceful naturists walk in is relevant.

"Timing is everything in Paradise" according to an older post on my website: https://thefreerangenaturist.org/2015/08/11/timing-is-everything-in-paradise-a-trip-report/
Jbee

[jbeegoode]

Clothing Stash: From The Secret Naturist Handbook

The clothing stash follows on from the technique of hiding clothing to be collected on your return but gives you a more secure hiding place to hold your clothing while you are on a secret naturist outing. It is superior to simply hiding your clothing, as the container is usually buried in the ground, within a wall or rotten tree stump or any similar location.

To make a clothing stash you first need to obtain a watertight container large enough to hold the clothing or other items you want to hide. Ideal containers can be made from large glass sweet jars of the type once found in traditional sweet shops but any other similar container will do. The container should be rot proof, vermin proof and have a locking or screw top lid to prevent water getting inside. Another ideal container are the large plastic storage containers used by canoeists.

In practice you need to find a suitable location that allows you access to the container without being seen, as not only will you be putting things inside but you will also be stripping off as well. Good locations are those that can be easily found by yourself and offer good cover. One suitable spot is at the base of a large tree, where the lid can easily be covered with leaves or a large flat stone. It is important when constructing the stash not to leave evidence of your activities in the area. The chosen spot should look totally untouched after every visit.

Human beings rarely look above eye level unless they are specifically looking for something such as birds or animals. This fact can be exploited by the secret naturist. Instead of hiding clothing underground or in thick cover, try hiding it up in a tree.

One technique is as follows.

Find a good mature tree, preferably a conifer, that you can easily climb. I would suggest that a good minimum height for the clothing to be placed is about 8m. Obtain a strong length of dark coloured rope or cord - my own preference is for Paracord which is available from most outdoors shops. Loop the cord over a suitable branch and then tie the ends together to form a loop. The cord should have plenty of slack so that the lower end can be secured to a branch. Next form a small loop in the main cord. This is where the clothing bundle will be secured for hoisting. Finally, test the cord moves easily and does not snag.

In practice the system works like this. Tie your clothing bundle (stuff sack) to the small loop and then pull one length to raise the bundle up the tree and out of sight. If it snags either while being raised or lowered carefully trim a few branches. Be careful not to over do any trimming. When the desired height is reached tie off the lower end. To retrieve your bundle, untie the lower end and the bundle should come down easily. If is snags you can pull on either length to free it. This is the benefit is having a loop system - you can pull to raise and pull to lower if snagged.

Hints & tips for high level clothing stashes:

•   Select a spot off the normal track.
•   Use dark coloured stuff sacks to hold clothing.
•   A polythene bag will also help keep things dry.
•   Mix high level and low level stashes in the same area.
•   Select a tree with obstacles around it. Anyone walking there will have to watch where they place their feet, not up the tree.

Along with any clothing stash I always leave a note. This will not stop a determined thief but will hopefully stop the curious. The text varies depending on the location and circumstances but is generally includes the following:

•   What I'm doing e.g. usually cross-country running.
•   That the items have been hidden deliberately.
•   That they may be essential to my survival.
•   That they should be left alone.
•   Always say please and finish with a thank you.

[Greenbare Woods]

I'm not sure that hiding a bag of clothes in a tree with a rope to the ground is a good idea.  It is visible to anyone who happens to look.  Sure, it may be off the path and not usually observed, but its high enough to be seen from a distance. 

I have usually hidden my clothing on the ground behind or under fallen logs.  Often I cover with another old log or flat rock.  I know its there but anyone else would have to get down on their knees or move a rock to find it.   

Another problem is that of finding our own stash.  Out in the woods many trees look very much the same.  So do fallen logs for that matter.  It needs to be at a very distinct mark on the trail or path.  Behind the lightning burned stump.  Just west of the old gate.  At the first horseshoe bend from the parking lot.  Some distinct mark like that.

Where location permits I prefer to put my clothes in the trunk of my car and just hide the keys.  Again, make sure you can find them later.

[jbeegoode]

Hanging clothes in a tree also dissuades critters, who may be inclined to carry a bag off, spread clothing everywhere, chew up lunch, or just make the whole thing disappear.

A big cat, javalina, coyotes all have the potential, they are not apt to climb spindly trees six or eight feet up.

I usually think to strap a backpack to tree bases, if the bag is tough. They sniff for awhile, then chew, then if they get excited, finally get to ripping and eating the bag. Those water seal, air seal bags, or quality ziplocks, keep food scents away, If one is diligent about it.

In the brush off away from a crossroads has worked. I have a camouflage rain cover to hide from passersby. if the hide is difficult.

We stash a backpack with full camping gear and take off unencumbered, more often than leaving just clothes. There are the same issues as of leaving things in a tent, eating in a tent and bear bags, etc.
Jbee

[jbeegoode]

Cover Stories: From The Secret Naturist Handbook

Secret naturists, by way of their often covert activities, may sometimes find themselves in places or situations that appear as suspicious to third parties. Secret naturists tend to be most active during rather odd hours of the day and night, for example between late evenings and early mornings. We also tend to seek out of the way locations, all factors that tend to make it appear we are up to no good. What we need to plan for these eventualities is a good cover story.

A cover story is simple a good reason or excuse for being at a certain location at a certain time. The simplest way of devising a good cover story is to ask yourself for what reason would you be in a certain place at that time?

By way of example, I recently found an old track running through the grounds of a large hotel. The track is infrequently used and runs through what was once the grounds of a well tended country estate. I found that the track was good for nude cycling, if visited late in the evening. Of course, there is always the chance that someone might ask why I'm riding a bike in the wood late at night.

Giving this question some thought I came up with a number of feasible reasons such as bird watching, listening to the owls I knew were there or watching the badgers (I had found badger sign in the grounds). This was all I needed to explain my presence if questioned. The fact that I was already interested in the topic of watching nature meant I already had knowledge of the subject and could converse happily without tripping myself up. I often carry a small pair of binoculars on most secret naturist outings and these are great for supporting a bird or wildlife cover story.

Another good cover story, one that can be used for nocturnal visits to all manner of locations, is that of astronomy. All you need is a basic knowledge of some of the constellations. Of course, you could even say you were a complete beginner on the subject. To reinforce your cover story, carry a small pocket guide on astronomy.

Another great cover story that can be used in just about every location and at all hours of the day (and night), is that is a cross country running. This is also a good way of wearing the minimum of clothing - running shorts and vest are quite minimal - both of which can be removed quickly and carried in a small bumbag.

[jbeegoode]

Some thoughts:
My reason is a nude hike, walk, nude bird watching, or nude whatever, that I’m doing. People need to know that people do these things, that it is legit fun, enhancement of fun, or lifestyle, or perhaps practical. The plan, if in something other than a quiet hiking trail, is to not be seen, as I am not there for them. I’m certainly not there to offend, or get kicks out of being seen.
It seems that “cover story” and “excuse” are different.

Walking around on personal private property is suspicious and if my property, I’d grab a gun and investigate. A golf course, park, or resort would be different.

“Why are you naked in your front yard this evening?” Any reason that anyone is in their front yard and I’m surprised to be seen.

As a couple, people may think sex, or wonder if they are intruding on a private moment. They think, “why else.” 
I think that not getting caught helps decrease the need for a cover story.

The way one dresses, age, race etc. makes a difference depending on the neighborhood and time of day. There are waterfalls in the Tortolitas, but we have to cross a golf course community to get to them, now. We dress like a walk, like we live there, all clean and conventional, stroll down the road and then disrobe up in the canyon.
Jbee

[jbeegoode]

Disaster Plans: From The Secret Naturist Handbook

During the planning stage of your outing, a wise secret naturist needs to consider what they would do in the event of something serious happening, such as getting lost, the theft of your vehicle or being reported to the authorities. If you at least consider some of these possibilities, however remote they may seem, you will be less inclined to panic when it does actually happen and will be able to rationally plan what to do next.

Getting Lost:
For whatever reason, you start to realise that you are lost. What do you do? Firstly, don't panic, stay calm, sit down and think. Perhaps the first thing you can do is to back-track. Try heading in what you think might be the general direction you came from, looking for recognisable landmarks and your own footprints. Next head downhill and into valleys where there will usually be a stream which can be followed to a river and where there are rivers there is usually habitation. If night is falling and you do not have a torch, you might also want to consider looking for shelter to spend the night and start again when light returns. Another useful tip when lost is to follow manmade constructions such as pylons, fence lines, walls and tracks. These will often, eventually, lead to habitation.

Vehicle Theft:
It can be a heart stopping moment to return to the car park to find your trusty vehicle missing. Again, don't panic, stay calm, sit down and think. If you have clothing fine and assuming the distance is manageable, you can start walking home, hitching for a lift as you do so. If your only set of clothing was inside the vehicle, you have a more serious problem. Another option is to head for the nearest house or farm and ask to borrow the phone to call relatives or a taxi. Even if you are without clothing, this might be the best option, just explain your circumstances, i.e. you are a secret naturist and that your clothing and vehicle has been stolen. When approaching the dwelling make sure you are seen, so as not to alarm the person who answers the door. If possible, look for some means of covering up such as a polythene carrier bag, so at least you will appear less alarming.

Reported To The Authorities:
Another situation that could be considered as a disaster is when you have been seen and hear those dreaded words, "I'm going to report you to the Police!"

Again, while this might seem really serious, it might not actually be more than a threat. Think about the circumstances and ask yourself a few questions such as, do they actually know your identity? If they do, you might expect a knock on the door from the authorities. If seen by a stranger, all they can do is report a general description and as people are generally inaccurate in such matters, this might not be a problem. However, if you have been linked to a vehicle registration number, things are more serious and you might again expect a visit from the authorities. Should either of these happen, you would need to consider how to respond. Deny or own up and explain you are a secret naturist. The choice is up to you, although I would recommend the latter.