I have tried truck driving lately, 3 months in 2014 and another several weeks from december up till now, took 3 weeks off from mid jan till a week ago. Due to stress relief and home jobs calling. I have found it to be too much akin to life in the city, which I cannot tolerate. Its taken some time to figure out why i feel like i do. But perhaps I have come to see what it is. When i was 4 my parents bought isolated land with no structures. They moved into a tent, had a well bored and hand pump put on it. Built an outhouse and cabin. And thats how i grew up. My dad worked in a print shop, and then drove forklift in a bakery, low wages, but eventually got the land paid off. My mother did extensive gardening and home schooled us. My sister and i, then she died at 10 yo and my brother arrived. So i grew up immersed in nature, like wilderness living even though town was a few miles away. When i was 20 we sold that land and bought a lot more, a lot further out. With thousands of acres of timberland around it free roaming territory. And i have worked it, cut timber, sawmilled, made hay, had horses, and done many things. Running short on timber i tried starting a trucking business with my brother, since i was always good at driving anything. But now i fully realize that being on the road is too much stress, a few weeks of it and im feeling so stressed i can hardly take it. I have been trying to understand why. Only thing i can figure is that Im so used to the peace of natural surroundings, and road life is too much like city life. Driving from city to city picking up and delivering autos. That first 3 month stint at it i got so starved for nature i was looking for every little patch of it i could find to spend a few minutes with it. I have always felt at home when walking out in the woods or fields. Quite the opposite of some people Ive met who seem afraid of nature as if its some scary zone full of unknown dangers. Ive always felt like the further into wilderness i get the better i like it. So truck driving is not my kind of job. Leading a pack string into back country is more my kind of thing. Or even ranch work, training horses and tending livestock. Or whats open to me now is establishing a produce farm on my mountainside land, naked work with natural surroundings. Growing good food, eating it myself and some to sell. And if i can manage, take time off for camping trips (with naturist friends perhaps) and in time get another horse and go on riding trips, which end up clothed ventures mostly, but still its animal, nature, and wilderness connected. To keep driving truck steady is pointless, starving for what i really want and need, disconnected from my roots. Thats what my naturism is i think, nature connection, and maybe rebellion against the artificial adornments of society, rebellion against the sexualization of our naked selves. Yes the sex thing is there and serves a purpose, but its been carried way beyond where it belongs and turned into an obsession. Need to put it back where it belongs. Isolated to a wife and only occasional at that. Overdoing it is not good for us, does not increase happiness or joy. Its just like a lot of things, a thrill for a moment with no lasting benefit. Empty pleasures. Connecting with God through nature and doing good to others is where real joy is found.
