Author Topic: Problems and progress with reluctant and difficult partners.  (Read 38084 times)

nuduke

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Re: Problems and progress with reluctant and difficult partners.
« Reply #90 on: April 14, 2016, 12:11:16 AM »
We're still doing the jigsaw!  It's a toughie!
John

John P

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Re: Problems and progress with reluctant and difficult partners.
« Reply #91 on: April 14, 2016, 11:35:20 AM »
We found a jigsaw puzzle in the flat when we arrived, probably left by a previous occupant. Having some time to spare in the evenings, we gave it a try, but we found that lots of the pieces were almost but not quite the same shape, and many of them had similar print. Thus it was difficult to know whether a piece was in the right place or not, but fortunately the correct assembly tool was within reach:
https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/28291527/DSCF3595.JPG

(Change title to " reluctant and difficult jigsaws"...)

Davie

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Re: Problems and progress with reluctant and difficult partners.
« Reply #92 on: April 14, 2016, 01:05:11 PM »
I think two pieces are still in the wrong place!!

Davie  8)

jbeegoode

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Re: Problems and progress with reluctant and difficult partners.
« Reply #93 on: April 14, 2016, 05:30:25 PM »
There was once one with all the same shapes. It was black and white drawings of little tiny naked people all lined up in numerous lines, each a different personality. There we sat, seemingly endless nights, cluttered in the livingroom, friends helping, weeks went by, six pack after six-pack, it consumed our lives...until one day, it was done. My wife had acquired a backing and some glossy clear sealer to encase the monster, never to suck the life out of anyone again. It was to be put on a wall as a trophy (okay the little people were very very  fun), but in the end, it represented all of the effort, consumption and endless obsession. It was hidden in a closet, a tome to bee brought out for a few minutes after discovery and then put away. There were no more jigsaw puzzles for many many years.
Jbee
Barefoot all over, all over.

eyesup

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Re: Problems and progress with reluctant and difficult partners.
« Reply #94 on: July 29, 2016, 04:22:10 PM »
Quote from: JohnP
. . . fortunately the correct assembly tool was within reach:

Ahh! The mantra of the beginning handyman!

If it don't fit, get a bigger hammer!

Duane

Bob Knows

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Re: Problems and progress with reluctant and difficult partners.
« Reply #95 on: August 03, 2016, 05:42:43 PM »
My sister in law has been visiting. Its because my MIL is dying from cancer. MIL has some weeks or maybe a couple of months. Sister in law visited for a week. I am normally naked around the house all summer, but I am a gracious host and cover up for guests.  My wife is not naked even though she would accompany me naked when we first got together.  Now wife says she doesn't like it.  Perhaps she thinks she looks too old. Wife doesn't complain about me being naked.

After SIL had been here a week, and MIL hadn't died yet, SIL announced she would go home, arrange some stuff, and then come back here indefinitely until MIL dies. Could be months.

So before she left I told SIL that I've been making accommodations for a guest, but someone staying for weeks is joining the household so my polite guest accommodations no longer will apply. I told her that I will go back to being naked around and about the house when she returns. To my surprise she said she will have no problem with me being naked. Then she left. I'm back to being naked. When she returns I will remain naked at home.

Summer is short in these parts. I'm not going to wast it all on an extended visitor. Carpe Diem.
Human bodies are natural, comfortable, and green.
To see more of Bob you can view his personal photo page
http://www.photos.bradkemp.com/greenbare.html

jbeegoode

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Re: Problems and progress with reluctant and difficult partners.
« Reply #96 on: August 03, 2016, 06:22:41 PM »
You make it sound so straight forward simple. In the actual discussion, were you applying your silver tongue skills? What ground work was to be had before this conversation? You didn't just drop the bomb on her out of the blue, did you? Was she aware of your proclivity before this? Was there family dynamic? Was there an understood value of my castle and you are a visitor before this? My house, My rules? Does she have any background in being around naked people, especially family members?

DF has family who like naturist activity, but to be naked with her cousin after all of those years, is apparently, too weird for her. Sometimes, being nude with relatives is discombobulating. So, SIL needs a place to stay and give/get family support, during this rough time. She must be there and it is imperative to her. She has no choice, but how will she actually adopt to the naked BIL in the room. She'll get used to it, keep any negative opinion to herself, but initially, how would that go? She just said, "I'll have no problem with that."? It appears that you'll just greet her nude and stay that way when she returns. Are you close, like friends?

I'm sure to be making too much of this, but one more thing. What will your wife make of this? No problem, too?

I guess what I'm saying is, "Dang that was amazingly simple! How cuuld it be so amazingly simple?"
Jbee
« Last Edit: August 03, 2016, 06:28:02 PM by jbeegoode »
Barefoot all over, all over.

Bob Knows

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Re: Problems and progress with reluctant and difficult partners.
« Reply #97 on: August 03, 2016, 06:52:42 PM »
I started the conversation saying that I make accommodations for guests, but someone who stays for weeks is more of a resident than a guest.  I said that If she wants to be a resident then I expect to live my regular life, which includes casual nakedness. 

I do have a sign in my dining room "Please take off your clothes."   She mentioned seeing the sign when she agreed to my demand.  I don't know that she has any nudist experience.  She belongs to the Scientology church.  I don't know what their beliefs are about naked bodies.  SIL has had a couple of husbands and raised a son, so she won't see anything she hasn't seen many times before. 

Actually the discussion was less difficult than I expected.  She agreed to my nudity without seeming hesitation or argument.  We'll see how she does in a couple of weeks when she returns and I'm wandering around the house naked. 

Human bodies are natural, comfortable, and green.
To see more of Bob you can view his personal photo page
http://www.photos.bradkemp.com/greenbare.html

jbeegoode

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Re: Problems and progress with reluctant and difficult partners.
« Reply #98 on: August 03, 2016, 07:16:14 PM »
Please, keep us abreast of the haps.
Jbee
Barefoot all over, all over.

ric

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Re: Problems and progress with reluctant and difficult partners.
« Reply #99 on: August 06, 2016, 11:00:11 PM »
Were on day 3 of a week in fuerteventura, staying in a sea front hotel in a wee village on the south coast. The beech here is pebbles and black sand and well used by the locals.
Day 1 we looked at a few sandy beaches along the coast, but there's some wind boarding competition on so there's a lot of people about.. day 2 we found the beach for the rest of the week, lots of sand good mix of textiles and naturists, Mrs was happy to sunbathe but insisted on wearing a loose top to go in the water.
This mornning we arrived on the beach a tad after 9 am, only 3 cars in the carpark, cwe plonked ourselves down in our favour it spot, couple of other people in the distance, managed to persuaded the other half to walk across the sand to the water without the top.  By the time we left at 1 pm wed neither of us worn anything, except me occasionally putting my glasses on.
Our hotel room has a balcony, there's just enough shade in the afternoon to get two sunbeds in the shade, a couple ofshairs block the view from the well uused beach front promenade,  well almost, today I didn't get any grumbles even when I got up to go in to the toilet, we both spent most of the afternoon naked on the loungers till dinner time.  I'm not sure if we were noticed by any people on the promenade or not, but it was warm enough to stifle any worries fro the other half.
The next few days look like being the same format as today,  we've made big steps with the wife's self confidence today,
 Next step has to be a naked walk along the beach

JOhnGw

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Re: Problems and progress with reluctant and difficult partners.
« Reply #100 on: August 07, 2016, 12:10:13 AM »
Great news, Ric.
Softly softly catchee monkey.  :D
JOhn

Do not do unto others as you would that they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same.
George Bernard Shaw, Maxims for Revolutionaries

eyesup

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Re: Problems and progress with reluctant and difficult partners.
« Reply #101 on: August 09, 2016, 07:18:31 PM »
Sounds like good progress on the Bob and ric fronts.

Things are looking up!

Duane

ric

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Re: Problems and progress with reluctant and difficult partners.
« Reply #102 on: August 09, 2016, 07:38:41 PM »
Things have gone well this week, now got to walking along the beach naked when we get there with only one other car in the carpark , but carrying a sarong later to throw round the, waist when encountering people,  its the perceived size of tummy that's the problem.
Even got allowed to get the camera out this morning, though I expect a lot will get deleted after I've downloaded them to the laptop.

milfmog

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Re: Problems and progress with reluctant and difficult partners.
« Reply #103 on: August 15, 2017, 02:41:36 PM »
After my apparent absence from the forum, for which I have been duly chastised by Mr Nuduke, I guess it is time that I provided an update on acceptance at home.

Those with long memories will remember the reports I wrote a couple of years ago (can it really be that long?) of the holiday Carole and I had in Menorca. I managed to spend a great deal of time properly dressed during that holiday without much push back from The Boss. When we got home I made a conscious decision to try to maintain the amount of time I spent undressed and see how things went. I was a little circumspect, keep out of sight of the neighbours, don’t open the front door naked etc, no point in looking for grief and things all went pretty well. I got an occasional reminder that I was stepping outside the boundaries of everyday convention, but little more.

I was particularly amused one day when Carole opened the blinds in our lounge without warning. Our lounge window is directly opposite one of the neighbour’s windows and Carole did not bat an eyelid at me being naked in plain view of the window next door. I complained, on the basis that showing concern for the opinions of the Old Girl who lived there would be good for my credibility and got “Oh! I’ve become so used to you being naked, I did not notice”. Result!

Over the next year or so I continued to stay undressed until I had to go out and on coming home from work a shower then not dressing until it was time to eat became fairly common. I had to be a little circumspect as our son (22 years old) is still living at home, he does not care, but I did not want to cause ructions with his 19 year old girlfriend. She has caught glimpses of me naked a couple of times without any reaction from her beyond laughing about it with the lad. However, I was very conscious that Carole would probably take a dim view of me being naked about the place when she was there.

Over time, Carole became more relaxed with me being naked, even when Natalia was around, so long as I don’t make it blatant. So cleaning the kitchen and getting breakfast naked is OK as Nat very rarely comes into the kitchen in the mornings (she is not a morning person, preferring to get up as late as possible consistent with getting to work on time).

We lost my mother a couple of years ago to liver cancer; she had been given three months three and a half years earlier, so it was not really a surprise. I tell you this because, during one of the last conversations I had with her, she commented that “there should be enough left in the kitty to build the sauna you’ve always wanted” once we sorted out the estate. Last year I got to the point where that became a possibility and we set about demolishing the old, pre-fabricated concrete garage in the back garden. It was too small for a modern car anyway 9i could get the car in but would never have been able to get out afterwards and anyway the access down the side of the house is narrow enough that sooner or later I was bound to wipe the side of the car on the masonry.

I extended the concrete slab by four feet and then designed and ordered a custom shed, twenty feet by eight feet, to go where the garage had been. The shed was erected in January and a local electrician employed to run the cables and connect them up. I already had a suitable power feed from the house but UK legislation now prohibits amateurs from pretty much anything other than renewing / repairing existing installations. Given that this was a new build and I wanted to put a sauna in it, I decided to follow the letter of the law rather than have a difficult conversation with the insurance companies should something unfortunate happen. (I regret this as the only problems I have had with the sauna were both due to bad workmanship by the electrician, errors I would not have made myself.)



Once the initial wiring was in place I ordered a load of insulation and tongue and groove boarding and set about lining the shed to make it a more comfortable place to be and a lot smarter to look at. The picture below shows the shed when the internal lining was about half done. Naturally, all the work in the shed was done while properly dressed.



The windows face across the garden towards the old girl’s place next door. She’s 90 years old and has undoubtedly glimpsed me naked a few times, but I have never had any reaction from her and she did not say anything to Carole. Once the shed was finished and three coats of varnish applied I started on the sauna cabin. That kept me going for a couple more weeks. We had one unplanned visit from a friend who walked into the back garden while I was working naked. (Brave of her, she does not know Beauty that well…). I dressed but she cannot have failed to see that I was working naked; again no reaction and nothing said. Amazingly, no reaction from Carole either. (Beauty just barked and then wagged her tail and waited for an ear rub; useless as a guard dog.)



(Since this was taken I have covered the blue control box. The white box halfway up the left is a double dimmer switch, for the lights in the ceiling and under the bench)

The sauna is now in regular use, not as big as JB’s sweat nor in such communal use, but proving very sociable within the family. Carole and I try to make a point of using it twice a week and spend a couple of hours heating and cooling and just chatting. Simply talking to one another is almost a novelty; we had developed a habit of doing things in the same space but not necessarily together. We would both sit and read or I’d attend to my post while Carole was sewing… You get the picture.

 





The best bit? Carole has worked out the best way to dress for the sauna. She only wears a towel or swimsuit if there is a likelihood that Malcolm or Nat will be joining us. Generally though, I think the idea of a couple of old wrinklies in the sauna is enough to put them off and they have only joined us once, preferring to use it when we are not around. Adding to my joy, I do not get disapproving looks when I decide to sit on the patio to cool down rather than staying inside. (This may change, at present the house downhill of us is empty as the old girl has moved in with her older sister to look after her. The house is now on the market but is still empty with little interest being shown in it as it is overpriced considering how much modernisation is needed. Long may it remain so, I am quite happy to cut the lawns for her in exchange for the additional privacy.)

So, when we add in Carole’s decision to send me off on a British Naturism group holiday (cruising the Croatian coast) I reckon we are now approaching full acceptance of my naturist habits. Next target: get Carole to sit naked in the garden to cool down after a sauna. Probably not this week but I’m working on it :D.

For those still struggling to gain acceptance, this is further evidence of how Larry’s principle of incrementalism coupled with JB’s concepts of appropriate time and place can really work. Fingers crossed John, there may be hope for you yet…

Have fun,


Ian.
It's never too late to have a happy childhood.

Davie

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Re: Problems and progress with reluctant and difficult partners.
« Reply #104 on: August 15, 2017, 03:11:16 PM »
Incrementalism works. Softly softly catchee monkee. Mrs D accepted I liked being naked, then didn't make a fuss when we "happened" upon a naturist camp site. That was Tything Barn. (She remained clothed as it was cold) She has since said she new I'd fixed it! I then joined a swim.  That caused a problem, not because of the naturism but it was a Saturday evening. Eventually she said she'd join me in coming to the swim. She does and is now on the committee. I wouldn't say she was a hardcore naturist. 5-6 on the scale out of 10. I'd be 8 and pushing 9. Those at 10 I think push the boundaries, sometimes to the detriment of others but they have their place.

I love the sauna. Mine's in the garage and only small but I love it being a fully functional Finnish sauna.

Davie  8)