After my apparent absence from the forum, for which I have been duly chastised by Mr Nuduke, I guess it is time that I provided an update on acceptance at home.
Those with long memories will remember the reports I wrote a couple of years ago (can it really be that long?) of the holiday Carole and I had in Menorca. I managed to spend a great deal of time properly dressed during that holiday without much push back from The Boss. When we got home I made a conscious decision to try to maintain the amount of time I spent undressed and see how things went. I was a little circumspect, keep out of sight of the neighbours, don’t open the front door naked etc, no point in looking for grief and things all went pretty well. I got an occasional reminder that I was stepping outside the boundaries of everyday convention, but little more.
I was particularly amused one day when Carole opened the blinds in our lounge without warning. Our lounge window is directly opposite one of the neighbour’s windows and Carole did not bat an eyelid at me being naked in plain view of the window next door. I complained, on the basis that showing concern for the opinions of the Old Girl who lived there would be good for my credibility and got “Oh! I’ve become so used to you being naked, I did not notice”. Result!
Over the next year or so I continued to stay undressed until I had to go out and on coming home from work a shower then not dressing until it was time to eat became fairly common. I had to be a little circumspect as our son (22 years old) is still living at home, he does not care, but I did not want to cause ructions with his 19 year old girlfriend. She has caught glimpses of me naked a couple of times without any reaction from her beyond laughing about it with the lad. However, I was very conscious that Carole would probably take a dim view of me being naked about the place when she was there.
Over time, Carole became more relaxed with me being naked, even when Natalia was around, so long as I don’t make it blatant. So cleaning the kitchen and getting breakfast naked is OK as Nat very rarely comes into the kitchen in the mornings (she is not a morning person, preferring to get up as late as possible consistent with getting to work on time).
We lost my mother a couple of years ago to liver cancer; she had been given three months three and a half years earlier, so it was not really a surprise. I tell you this because, during one of the last conversations I had with her, she commented that
“there should be enough left in the kitty to build the sauna you’ve always wanted” once we sorted out the estate. Last year I got to the point where that became a possibility and we set about demolishing the old, pre-fabricated concrete garage in the back garden. It was too small for a modern car anyway 9i could get the car in but would never have been able to get out afterwards and anyway the access down the side of the house is narrow enough that sooner or later I was bound to wipe the side of the car on the masonry.
I extended the concrete slab by four feet and then designed and ordered a custom shed, twenty feet by eight feet, to go where the garage had been. The shed was erected in January and a local electrician employed to run the cables and connect them up. I already had a suitable power feed from the house but UK legislation now prohibits amateurs from pretty much anything other than renewing / repairing existing installations. Given that this was a new build and I wanted to put a sauna in it, I decided to follow the letter of the law rather than have a difficult conversation with the insurance companies should something unfortunate happen. (I regret this as the only problems I have had with the sauna were both due to bad workmanship by the electrician, errors I would not have made myself.)
Once the initial wiring was in place I ordered a load of insulation and tongue and groove boarding and set about lining the shed to make it a more comfortable place to be and a lot smarter to look at. The picture below shows the shed when the internal lining was about half done. Naturally, all the work in the shed was done while properly dressed.
The windows face across the garden towards the old girl’s place next door. She’s 90 years old and has undoubtedly glimpsed me naked a few times, but I have never had any reaction from her and she did not say anything to Carole. Once the shed was finished and three coats of varnish applied I started on the sauna cabin. That kept me going for a couple more weeks. We had one unplanned visit from a friend who walked into the back garden while I was working naked. (Brave of her, she does not know Beauty that well…). I dressed but she cannot have failed to see that I was working naked; again no reaction and nothing said. Amazingly, no reaction from Carole either. (Beauty just barked and then wagged her tail and waited for an ear rub; useless as a guard dog.)
(Since this was taken I have covered the blue control box. The white box halfway up the left is a double dimmer switch, for the lights in the ceiling and under the bench)
The sauna is now in regular use, not as big as JB’s sweat nor in such communal use, but proving very sociable within the family. Carole and I try to make a point of using it twice a week and spend a couple of hours heating and cooling and just chatting. Simply talking to one another is almost a novelty; we had developed a habit of doing things in the same space but not necessarily together. We would both sit and read or I’d attend to my post while Carole was sewing… You get the picture.
The best bit? Carole has worked out the best way to dress for the sauna. She only wears a towel or swimsuit if there is a likelihood that Malcolm or Nat will be joining us. Generally though, I think the idea of a couple of old wrinklies in the sauna is enough to put them off and they have only joined us once, preferring to use it when we are not around. Adding to my joy, I do not get disapproving looks when I decide to sit on the patio to cool down rather than staying inside. (This may change, at present the house downhill of us is empty as the old girl has moved in with her older sister to look after her. The house is now on the market but is still empty with little interest being shown in it as it is overpriced considering how much modernisation is needed. Long may it remain so, I am quite happy to cut the lawns for her in exchange for the additional privacy.)
So, when we add in Carole’s decision to send me off on a British Naturism group holiday (cruising the Croatian coast) I reckon we are now approaching full acceptance of my naturist habits. Next target: get Carole to sit naked in the garden to cool down after a sauna. Probably not this week but I’m working on it
.
For those still struggling to gain acceptance, this is further evidence of how Larry’s principle of incrementalism coupled with JB’s concepts of appropriate time and place can really work. Fingers crossed John, there may be hope for you yet…
Have fun,
Ian.
