Well, it's official. I have been cited! It was Christmas Eve and the weather was just warm again, so clothes seemed unnecessary. I wanted to install hydraulic cylinders on the front-end loader of the tractor and had it all the way up the driveway shielded on all sides by vehicles, pump house, main house and garage. Of course the vehicles only partially blocked the view up the driveway, but I would watch for traffic and others to avoid anyone seeing any offensive body parts. The only neighbor within eyesight appeared to be away or at least remained indoors, which isn't normal since he spends most of his time in the shop with the doors open. I know he dislikes my naturist tendencies and cover when I know he might be out and about. Besides, his house is about 75 yards away. He certainly can tell whether I am clothed or nude, but too far to see any detail. We are near the end of a small neighborhood, so I don't usually get much traffic and on Christmas Eve, it seemed very quiet.
I completed my task with only one instance where I noticed someone looking my direction. He was on a mower well past my nearest neighbor, a good 100 yards away. I just shielded myself among the vehicles until his attention went elsewhere. I put on shorts to clean up the tools and then sat on the back porch to enjoy a relaxing beverage.
The officer popped his head over the wood fence to announce his presence. The dogs, of course, went ballistic. Anyway, I went to greet the officer in the driveway (I still had on the shorts). There I found two additional units of the county sheriff's office parked along the street in front of my house. The three deputies proceeded to ask me whether it was me that neighbors had reported wandering the front yard NAKED! I explained that I had not been wandering the front yard without any clothes, but had been in the back yard and near the garage. They asked why?. So I explained that I am a naturist, but didn't go into anything further.
They said that they had been provided a photo 'from a third party', clearly showing a naked man. I told them that I never saw anyone close enough to take a photo or even close enough to notice my state of dress. I told them of the guy on the mower and pointed out where he was in the distance.
After getting my side of the story, one of the deputies went to my neighbor's house, where he spent 20 - 30 minutes talking with him. The other two officers hung around my driveway, so I just waited with them.
When the deputy returned, he said that he would not be taking me to jail (really?!), because the DA didn't want to pursue any prosecution. He explained that being nude was only illegal if accompanying lewd actions and none could be proven against me. I kept quiet. He did give me a citation for 'disorderly conduct - offensive gesture'. WHAT! Where did they dig that up? Now I have to appear before a Justice of the Peace before February 2nd to 'resolve this citation'.
The citation is nominal, probably around $100, but only if I plead out (nolo contendre). I'm thinking of asking for deferred adjudication, that would have it go away after 30 - 60 days without further complaint. Or fight it for principal, but the costs would certainly go up considerably and my chances of winning are slim in the podunk court.
I still needed to change the hydraulic fluid and clean the screen, so I simply moved the tractor to the back yard where I could complete the job without worrying about prying eyes. The officer did say that I could wander the back yard naked as much as I wanted, just don't come out of the gate without clothes on.
Happy tidings to all y'all!
Safebare